The Thermodynamics Final

(Sung to the tune of the "Battle Hymn of the Republic")

Free energy and entropy were whirling in his brain,
With partial differentials and Greek letters in their train,
And delta, sigma, gamma, theta, epsilon and pi's
Were driving him distracted as they danced before his eyes.
CHORUS:
	Glory, Glory, dear old Thermo,
	Glory, Glory, dear old Thermo,
	Glory, Glory, dear old Thermo,
	We'll pass you by and by.

Heat content and fugacity revolved within his brain,
Like molecules and atoms that you never have to name,
With logarithmic functions doing cakewalks in his dreams
And partial molal quantities devouring chocolate creams.
CHORUS

They asked him on his final if a mole of any gas
In a vessel with a membrane through which hydrogen could pass
Were compressed to half its volume what the entropy would be,
If two-thirds of delta sigma equaled half of delta P.
CHORUS

He said he guessed the entropy would have to equal four
Unless the Second Law would bring it up a couple more,
But then it might be seven, if the Carnot Law applied,
Or it might be almost zero, if the delta T should slide.
CHORUS

The professor read his paper with a corrugated brow
For he knew he'd have to grade it and he didn't quite know how.
Then suddenly an inspiration in his cerebellum smote.
He seized his trusty fountain pen and this is what he wrote:
CHORUS

Just as you guessed the entropy I'll have to guess your grade.
But the Second Law won't raise it to the mark you might have made.
For it might have been a hundred, if your guesses all were good.
But I think it must be zero till they're rightly understood.
CHORUS